The Hunger Games

Midnight was an anxious time for me both Wednesday & Thursday night. On Weds I finished my 2nd reading of The Hunger Games & proceeded to toss & turn all night having HG shaped dreams. Then last night I went to the midnight showing of The Hunger Games. I knew it was time because I had my nervous "Do I have to pee? I think I have to pee. No I don't have to pee." feeling as the credits began to role.

Here are my top 10 reasons why this movie was AWESOME.

10. Josh Hutcherson as Peeta Mellark. We all had our tiny reservations, but he pulled him off. He was the Peeta I imagined if only a little less tough at the beginning. I loved him in this character, just loved him. I didn't think it was possible but he made me love Peeta even more.

9. Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen. Jennifer showed me Katniss as Suzanne Collins made her. As I read I never realized what a little b**** Katniss was because I loved her, ya know? But I kept thinking "God Katniss, be nicer to Peeta!" and that made me realized that is how she actually is in the books, I just couldn't see it. I LOVE IT when actors can do that for me. See a piece of a character that I couldn't quite find and make me go "ABSOLUTELY!!!"

8. Woody Harrelson, Stanley Tucci & Elizabeth Banks in roles that seem to have been MADE for them.

7. Let's talk about making a world come completely to life because this Gary Ross did that. Completely.

6. The use of music & silence throughout the film is brilliant.

5. Gary Ross took this "young adult" book and made it anything but. What I watched last night was an adult film with intense themes & nearly everything filmed as I envisioned it.

4. I love love love love loved getting to see inside the Game Makers Production room & the meetings between Snow & Seneca. Because the book is written in first person we don't get to see inside they're horrible wicked heads. But last night I did. ahh love.

3. Suzanne Collins's and her brilliant writing. She co-wrote the screen play & I feel helped to create new dialogue for the characters that in no way diverts from the story she originally told, but enriches it. Though some key lines were left out, there were new ones that I found myself thinking "where were you in the book?" And anything that was left out was done so consciously, as if to say "this isn't a hokey teenage adaptation where we are trying to get the audience to swoon with romantic words" but instead, "we're here to tell Katniss' story". They concentrated on the tale of oppressed people who oops happen to be falling in love. Awkward.

2. The Reaping.

1. Peeta's interview, pre-confession. Hands down my favorite part of the entire movie. God I love that boy!

Get Ready to Sigh

I was driving into work this AM & I couldn't find one, not one station that was actually playing music. Gee thanks Tri-State area radio waves. So I stopped on a classical station. It's not my favorite but everyone once & a while I jones for a few Austenian tunes.

And then it happened, the thing that happens when I listen to music like that or watch a period piece movie or pick up Pride & Prejudice for another read or flick on some Downton Abbey.

My heart ached for a time that I  never knew.

Don't get me wrong, I'm super stoked for all the amazing leaps woman have made over the past century. I'm totally thankful that I can drive a car, vote, make my own money, make my own choices & show my boobies off if I so choose.

But sometimes I just think it would be lovely to wear a dress every day, to make myself look gorgeous every day. I mean, people actually tried to look presentable, even if they weren't leaving the house at all. And yeah, I'll admit, I kind of yearn for a time when men had to literally do all the work. I wouldn't be allowed to write you, let alone be in a room with only you. And if I had a crush on someone, I'd have to wait until either I saw him at next months ball or his sister or mother invited me round for tea. I know I would probably have been horribly bored, but it would be nice to have no responsibilities except to read or draw or embroider a cushion. To be able to go out walking on beautiful country sides for my afternoon constitution. And the hair, sweet Jesus the hair!!!

I don't know, for me, there's just something romantic about that.

I wouldn't trade all the rights that I have now for any of that. But sometimes, it's nice to pretend.

The Same Page

I think that in life we have all grown to underestimate the importance of being on the same page.

At work, I have to make sure that my boss & I are on the same page. With what I'm being trained in, how & if I understand it, all that crap. Then once I know it we have to be on the same page as far as who's responsibilities are who's.

At home, my mom & I have to be on the same page or we bicker like teenage girls.

With my friends we have to be on on the same page or... we bicker like teenage girls.

Most of the time this balance finds itself naturally.

But what happens when you try to get on the same page, and someone doesn't listen?
What happens when this starts to make you feel like the bad guy?

We rush through life these days & one day what we thought we wanted is not that anymore. Some times, we're not on the same page with ourselves.

I think that life can be like that old saying "When God closes a door, He opens a window." But lets put a spin on it.

When life starts falling into place in one aspect, other parts of it may start to slip.

I'm trying to figure myself out. One piece at a time.

The work aspect of my life is good. I have a job. It pays my bills & I can hopefully start saving some so that I can move out of my parents house. Even though I promised my dad I was living at home until marriage, Jane Austen style.

But that wont work for me. Because I've realized that before I live with my future person, I want to have my own little apartment. With quirky Janice accents that someone else might not love, but I do. I want to paint a wall purple or orange or yellow and then have pillows that do not match.

What that all adds up to is that I'm cookie dough, I'm not done baking.

And what that really means is that, for the first time, possibly in EVER, when I say that I am happy being single. I mean it. I'm happy to go out and drink and flirt & have absolutely no one to answer to. I don't like having someone else's agenda to answer to.

Remember when I said I was taking back 2012? Well it's taken. Or took? Whatever.

I'm slowly getting on the same page with myself. I'm working out. I'm eating better. (define... better?). I have a job I enjoy in the industry I love. I'm single & looking to mingle... without attachments.

Life is finally here. And I'm finally on the same page with it.

Dreamers & Realists

"There are dreamers and there are realist in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realist would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see the dreamers need the realist to keep them from soaring to close to the sun. And the realist? Well without the dreamers they might not ever get off the ground."

Modern Family



New favorite quote.

Complications.

My life is complicated right now.

scratch that.

reverse it.

my head is complicated right now.

messy???

What happens when the things you thought you knew you wanted turn out to be the things that you don't need.

right now.

I don't know. I feel like sometimes when life comes together you realize that it's not the life you actually wanted.

In other news, why does Buy Buy Baby make me so depressed? I've been in there a few times in the last few weeks bc of Layah's Birthday & a friend who is having a baby & I just get so damn sad in that place. Wrong right? It should be a place of happiness and balloons and butternut squash.

With babies.

Though I've been productive today. I've:

Transferred my CC balance from my evil Ex to my current lover (bank)
Paid my Mobile bill.
Paid my CC - merp.

I should really also schedule all my other payments. Done. Now I just need to get paid. WHHAAaAAA???

My brain is complicated.

Last Day

Today is my last day.

I got up at 5:25.

I showered.

I lotioned.

I got dressed and made some eggs. There was ham & peppers in them.

I drove to the theatre. I stayed at the theatre.

And then I didn't get to say goodbye.

I'm such a dramatic sack of sh*t but I can't help but I think it's for the best.

I'm a cryer.

don't know if you knew that about me.

So I waited as the Tour van drove away & then my ride never came. So I'm done. All my responsibilities are done.

And they're there & I'm here and I'm going home soon.

Goodbyes are over/underrated anyway.

I thought I was ready to push the chicadees out of the nest, especially since some of them annoy the sh*t out of momma bird, but I'm going to miss them.

Maybe I'm projecting.

Maybe who I really miss,

Who I'll be missing for a long long time.

Is Biggie.

The Girl by the Curb.

Today as I was getting ready I noticed a girl, a woman really, trying to cross the street. I have the perfect view. My bedroom at 22 is all windows. In the AM it's a fairly busy road, trucks and cars non stop. And she couldn't find her space.

When I first noticed her I remember thinking "walk 30 yards down the street to the crosswalk, lazy." and almost in the same thought "don't be so high and mighty McCrostie you wouldn't either."

It took her nearly 5 minutes. And I found myself fully invested in her success. Between eyeliner and bronzer and mascara I kept checking. It became vitally important to me that she cross the street. And every time I checked back she was still waiting, patiently between the yellow line and the curb.

When was it going to be her turn? When was she going to have her time? Why wasn't it happening for her? Why had it become so important to me?

I missed her crossing the street. One time when I looked up, she was on the other side, walking away.

I missed the girl at the curb crossing the street.