In my old age I've realized that my biggest fear has nothing to do with barnacles or spiders or heights or death. My biggest fear is being forgotten.
It's a lot to admit. And priding myself on being a rather strong person, its kind of a lame fear. If someone doesn't care enough to remember me then to hell with them.
But the thought of someone I care about forgetting me, leaves me in a state of near panic. My heart pounds and my breaths grow short. And the more I have cared for that person, the worse it gets.
I'm not ignorant enough to believe that I am so memorable. That there is something about me that makes me much more important and special than others. But I can hope.
And if you're happy, I'm more than happy.
But first I have to think about how, in my eyes, I am forgotten rather quickly. Like there is no smoke from our fire, because you put it out with water.
I still hurt & you've moved on.
I had thought that I had known heartbreak. I was wrong. Or perhaps, it's been so long that I've forgotten what it really feels like. And while you were over there, feeling the same way I did, everything was ok.
But now everything is broken open and brand new. Again I feel the seering pain of a broken heart. Again every breath hurts and every heart beat seems pointless.
Was what we had so fleeting that you could move on so quickly?
And it's irrational, because months have passed. It's not been quickly at all. But if it had been 3 years it would have been to short for you to forget about me.
They say that you never get over someone until you meet your new someone. I'm not sure that's true, I hope it is not. Because I'm miles away from finding that someone knew.
But for now I will fear that you will forget me. That you will be with someone who makes you happier than I ever could. That you will fall in love with someone who will make you want stay with them forever, figure it out so you can be together always. These are things that I both wish for and hate.
What is it about an ex finding someone new that makes you forget all of the reasons they became an ex in the first place?
Its hard to be alone with your thoughts.
It's a lot to admit. And priding myself on being a rather strong person, its kind of a lame fear. If someone doesn't care enough to remember me then to hell with them.
But the thought of someone I care about forgetting me, leaves me in a state of near panic. My heart pounds and my breaths grow short. And the more I have cared for that person, the worse it gets.
I'm not ignorant enough to believe that I am so memorable. That there is something about me that makes me much more important and special than others. But I can hope.
And if you're happy, I'm more than happy.
But first I have to think about how, in my eyes, I am forgotten rather quickly. Like there is no smoke from our fire, because you put it out with water.
I still hurt & you've moved on.
I had thought that I had known heartbreak. I was wrong. Or perhaps, it's been so long that I've forgotten what it really feels like. And while you were over there, feeling the same way I did, everything was ok.
But now everything is broken open and brand new. Again I feel the seering pain of a broken heart. Again every breath hurts and every heart beat seems pointless.
Was what we had so fleeting that you could move on so quickly?
And it's irrational, because months have passed. It's not been quickly at all. But if it had been 3 years it would have been to short for you to forget about me.
They say that you never get over someone until you meet your new someone. I'm not sure that's true, I hope it is not. Because I'm miles away from finding that someone knew.
But for now I will fear that you will forget me. That you will be with someone who makes you happier than I ever could. That you will fall in love with someone who will make you want stay with them forever, figure it out so you can be together always. These are things that I both wish for and hate.
What is it about an ex finding someone new that makes you forget all of the reasons they became an ex in the first place?
Its hard to be alone with your thoughts.
I have often wondered this myself! It's the 2nd stage no one talks about (You simply plateau before this) the dreaded "Who's going to meet someone first please-god-let-it-be-me syndrome." Its so awful and complicated and you feel so foolish. Then you question why you broke up.. its all very normal and very painful. Thank God its come though, because now that you've reached THIS stage.. you can begin to acquire more closure. Breaking up is like quitting smoking. Chew lots of gum, keep yourself busy and call your friends. A lot.
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