Body Image is for the Birds

I am slowly (very slowly some may say) realizing something things. 

If you follow my blog on a regular bases you're probably about to go "DUH! Ya IDIOT!" but I'm still getting there...

My body is beautiful. Period. 

There's no "but I have roles when I sit." or "look at this muffin top." or "but my arms do this wiggly thing."

My body is beautiful.

There should not be a stigma on weight. Ever. There are some people in this world who are over weight and that it affects their life and they are unhappy. Those people, in order to get happier, need to reevaluate. But that's not for me to decide. 

I am on a mission to get fitter and stronger and healthier. But I've said it before & I'll say it again...

I will NOT starve myself any longer. I refuse. I will not count calories or stare longingly at a cookie from across the room (I love you.)

This did not make me happier. This did not improve my life.

Yes when I was very fit at the end of last summer I enjoyed the attention. I liked being told how good I looked. But beyond that, I was starving! Oh sweet baby Jesus was I hungry.

I don't want to have to put myself through that ever again.

So I will eat according to me. Some days that will be a delicious salad. Some days a delicious burger. 

But I will also always be active. I will not be happy if I get heavier than I am now. And if I continue my free range diet without working out, than I will not be happier. 

There are a few things lately that have been leading up to this. Tonight this blog has really opened my eyes. I've always thought that I was single for 2 reasons:

1. Because I was picky.

2. Because I like a hottie & "hotties don't like fat girls." At least that's what I told myself.

sad. sad. sad.

How could anyone else want to have sex with me if I didn't even want to have sex with me? I gotta work on that.

I'm slowly digging through the roots of all my awful body image & I think I've found it's source. I wont share it because it could be hurtful to someone I care about, but now that I know that the things this person projected on me were only their own issues and really had nothing to do with me, I'll be able to work more on me. 

You're probably so over me talking about this. I am too. Let's talk about something else...

I'm still kickboxing and I just joined Golds Gym. Breaking up with Planet Fitness was hard but there were minimal tears. Maybe that's because I didn't do it on time & he was able to snag a final $39.99 in yearly fees out of me. Wee devil. But my new gym is just $10 more and they have classes and a pool. I am simply ready to concentrate on myself and my fitness. 

I guess that really wasn't a change of subject was it. Any who how. Is there anyone even out there reading this? Or are you all out on the town living the dream. Lucky.