The thing that no one warns you about hope is that it leaves you more vulnerable than anything else ever could.
I know I haven't been around in a while & so you're all confused. All you have to know is that I was (am?) seeing someone. Was. I think it's was.
I have abandonment issues. Always have. Every guy I have ever dated has decided overnight (one of them, literally) that they were no longer interested in seeing me. So now, just because I haven't heard from this guy in 3 days, I'm losing faith.
The dangerous thing about hope is that you keep it so close to your heart that when dissappointment sets in, it's worse than anything. And whatever we had, it was quick. I mean only 2 weeks, but it felt real. As real as anything I've ever felt anyway. I guess it felt like more than this.
And I'm picky as hell.
But there's no evidence, no trail as to why I'm left out in the cold. Maybe he's busy. Maybe I'm overreacting. & maybe if I didn't have the past experiences that I do I wouldn't care, but I do. I can't help that.
The dangerous thing about hope is that every time I give myself a little more, I'm brought down that much harder when it proves false. Every time I tell myself "no, he'll call me back." "he'll definitely text back." "maybe. maybe. maybe."
Those maybes suck.
I don't know what the hell could have happened on Saturday that made him realize this is over. It would be nice to know. I'd love to know.
Did I jinx it? I told like a whopping 3 people I was seeing someone. Did I ruin this?
The little piece of my heart that was falling for this guy is broken. And it's so hard to keep hoping. Maybe he's just busy. Maybe something happened and he's just not in the mood to talk to anyone. Maybe. Maybe... maybe.
Maybe he's the President of the United States. Maybe he has a space shuttle launch later.
If he's not calling you, he's just not that into you.
But hope. Hope is so dangerous. Because this person who is basically a stranger to me has me hoping. Has me being "that girl."
Closure is a figment of no one's imagination. It's one of the most real things. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe he realized it.
But overnight it happened again. And overnight I'm reminded why I'm so damn picky.
Maybe I'll feel like a psycho for this particular reaction. Maybe he'll call & have a explanation I'm happy with & I will be extremely embarassed about all of this.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I know I haven't been around in a while & so you're all confused. All you have to know is that I was (am?) seeing someone. Was. I think it's was.
I have abandonment issues. Always have. Every guy I have ever dated has decided overnight (one of them, literally) that they were no longer interested in seeing me. So now, just because I haven't heard from this guy in 3 days, I'm losing faith.
The dangerous thing about hope is that you keep it so close to your heart that when dissappointment sets in, it's worse than anything. And whatever we had, it was quick. I mean only 2 weeks, but it felt real. As real as anything I've ever felt anyway. I guess it felt like more than this.
And I'm picky as hell.
But there's no evidence, no trail as to why I'm left out in the cold. Maybe he's busy. Maybe I'm overreacting. & maybe if I didn't have the past experiences that I do I wouldn't care, but I do. I can't help that.
The dangerous thing about hope is that every time I give myself a little more, I'm brought down that much harder when it proves false. Every time I tell myself "no, he'll call me back." "he'll definitely text back." "maybe. maybe. maybe."
Those maybes suck.
I don't know what the hell could have happened on Saturday that made him realize this is over. It would be nice to know. I'd love to know.
Did I jinx it? I told like a whopping 3 people I was seeing someone. Did I ruin this?
The little piece of my heart that was falling for this guy is broken. And it's so hard to keep hoping. Maybe he's just busy. Maybe something happened and he's just not in the mood to talk to anyone. Maybe. Maybe... maybe.
Maybe he's the President of the United States. Maybe he has a space shuttle launch later.
If he's not calling you, he's just not that into you.
But hope. Hope is so dangerous. Because this person who is basically a stranger to me has me hoping. Has me being "that girl."
Closure is a figment of no one's imagination. It's one of the most real things. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe he realized it.
But overnight it happened again. And overnight I'm reminded why I'm so damn picky.
Maybe I'll feel like a psycho for this particular reaction. Maybe he'll call & have a explanation I'm happy with & I will be extremely embarassed about all of this.
Maybe.
Maybe.
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