A Prayer: Part 2

God,

I try to make a point of not questioning You. And I do pretty well with it. I also recognize that sometimes I don't see why You do the things You do until later. Looking back. And all that good stuff.

But I have a pretty big question for you. A pretty big bone to pick actually.

I was happy. I was comfortable. I was looking at my life with contentment & joy. My job made me happy. My friends made me happy. My family made me happy. I made me happy. My life made me happy.

That's a gross amount of happy.

But You had a plan & You executed that plan & now... guess what? I'm not so happy.

I'm happy enough. My life is still good. But you gave me a glimpse of something just to take it away.

And I don't understand. I don't know why you gave me that, just to take it away? What's next?

Now I'm just left here, thinking...

Thinking...

I'm a good person. I do good things. I'm not perfect but the sum of all my parts = a fairly good person. Why.

Why?

I wasn't lonely.  I was happy being single. For the first time in a forever I was like "screw this... being single is whats up."

Until  I met someone that made me not want to be single.

And You did that. That was all You.

Why?

Because now he creeps back into my mind umpteen times a day.

I can't wait for the morning that I wake up & don't hope for a text message from him.

The day that the split second between when my phone starts vibrating & the display shows a name doesn't drip with suspense.

And I know what he did to me. I know it was wrong & mean & I shouldn't hope that he'll come around.

But You know better than anyone that I don't feel like this often. That I don't fall like this a lot. The few. The Proud.

So why did You do this?

What's Your plan?

Besides some lesson I've yet to learn.

I guess I'm just wondering...