Just so everyone knows... just so we're clear...
I don't need to be reminded that my life is a mess. I don't need to be reminded that I'm 30 years old, single, unemployed and living with my parents. I don't need to be reminded that I don't actually know what I want to do with my life.
I don't need to be reminded that the most productive thing I've done in the last few days is the dishes.
I want to write and have people read it. I want to make a difference. I want to do something that means something to someone.
This past week I've fallen into a bit of a slump. I blame the weather 78% and my psyche 22%. Maybe my math is off. But I could feel myself falling victim to the dark side this week. I didn't want to do anything.
I'm slowly climbing out.
But for some reason I don't even want to pretend to understand... Valentine's Day is hitting me extra hard this year. It's never phased me one iota, but this year, every commercial makes my chest tight and my eyes water.
I just really want an edible arrangement this year.
A. it looks delicious.
B. it's the perfect gift because it's chocolate AND fruit. You can't get too angry for falling off your diet.
Right?
Anyway. It's dark down here. Which makes working on my own writing frustrating.
Plus I have this stupid cold. The kind of cold that's a bit debilitating but also you feel like you should be doing stuff. Ya know? Gross.
So now, here I am, watching my thousandth episode of Bones / Castle / SVU and I can't help but wonder...
What the hell am I doing? How do you find a job when you don't know what you want to do? Every job that I find in Theatre either does not pay OR is something I don't want to do anymore OR I'm completely unqualified for it OR I'm depressed and the thought of traveling into the city to work sounds like the worst when happy me actually would find it to be the best.
I don't know.
I'm just tired. My body and my mind are tired.
I need to get back to Kickboxing. The weather and my cold have left me kind of... pathetic.
Huh. Things come full circle sometimes.
Pathetic really is the New Black.
And just for the record, my blog came out long before the Netflix series.
I don't need to be reminded that my life is a mess. I don't need to be reminded that I'm 30 years old, single, unemployed and living with my parents. I don't need to be reminded that I don't actually know what I want to do with my life.
I don't need to be reminded that the most productive thing I've done in the last few days is the dishes.
I want to write and have people read it. I want to make a difference. I want to do something that means something to someone.
This past week I've fallen into a bit of a slump. I blame the weather 78% and my psyche 22%. Maybe my math is off. But I could feel myself falling victim to the dark side this week. I didn't want to do anything.
I'm slowly climbing out.
But for some reason I don't even want to pretend to understand... Valentine's Day is hitting me extra hard this year. It's never phased me one iota, but this year, every commercial makes my chest tight and my eyes water.
I just really want an edible arrangement this year.
A. it looks delicious.
B. it's the perfect gift because it's chocolate AND fruit. You can't get too angry for falling off your diet.
Right?
Anyway. It's dark down here. Which makes working on my own writing frustrating.
Plus I have this stupid cold. The kind of cold that's a bit debilitating but also you feel like you should be doing stuff. Ya know? Gross.
So now, here I am, watching my thousandth episode of Bones / Castle / SVU and I can't help but wonder...
What the hell am I doing? How do you find a job when you don't know what you want to do? Every job that I find in Theatre either does not pay OR is something I don't want to do anymore OR I'm completely unqualified for it OR I'm depressed and the thought of traveling into the city to work sounds like the worst when happy me actually would find it to be the best.
I don't know.
I'm just tired. My body and my mind are tired.
I need to get back to Kickboxing. The weather and my cold have left me kind of... pathetic.
Huh. Things come full circle sometimes.
Pathetic really is the New Black.
And just for the record, my blog came out long before the Netflix series.
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