Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Prayer: Part 2

God,

I try to make a point of not questioning You. And I do pretty well with it. I also recognize that sometimes I don't see why You do the things You do until later. Looking back. And all that good stuff.

But I have a pretty big question for you. A pretty big bone to pick actually.

I was happy. I was comfortable. I was looking at my life with contentment & joy. My job made me happy. My friends made me happy. My family made me happy. I made me happy. My life made me happy.

That's a gross amount of happy.

But You had a plan & You executed that plan & now... guess what? I'm not so happy.

I'm happy enough. My life is still good. But you gave me a glimpse of something just to take it away.

And I don't understand. I don't know why you gave me that, just to take it away? What's next?

Now I'm just left here, thinking...

Thinking...

I'm a good person. I do good things. I'm not perfect but the sum of all my parts = a fairly good person. Why.

Why?

I wasn't lonely.  I was happy being single. For the first time in a forever I was like "screw this... being single is whats up."

Until  I met someone that made me not want to be single.

And You did that. That was all You.

Why?

Because now he creeps back into my mind umpteen times a day.

I can't wait for the morning that I wake up & don't hope for a text message from him.

The day that the split second between when my phone starts vibrating & the display shows a name doesn't drip with suspense.

And I know what he did to me. I know it was wrong & mean & I shouldn't hope that he'll come around.

But You know better than anyone that I don't feel like this often. That I don't fall like this a lot. The few. The Proud.

So why did You do this?

What's Your plan?

Besides some lesson I've yet to learn.

I guess I'm just wondering...

3 comments:

  1. Sometimes you think someone or something is the bees knees but they are only put into your life (momentarily) to allow you to recognize and appreciate something even fantastically better once it is in front of you! Sometimes life requires courage but I assure you something better is about to come along....<3 Lin

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  2. PS - my grammar is a little awkward there but you get my drift!

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