Thursday, November 7, 2013

Enjoying The View

Wow. It has been far too long since I posted on this piece. My apologies. I've noticed that the more pathetic my life actually is, the less I actually write on my blog. That, my friends, is a little thing called irony.

Anyway I had a pretty amazing start to my birthday week. Yup, you heard it here first (or one thousandth, whatever) this upcoming Sunday I turn the big 3-0. I wasn't really having an existential crisis over this big birthday until a few weeks ago, but then I was like "holy sh*tballs I'm going to be a 30 year old who doesn't have their life together one iota." But I quickly realized something else.

My career and love life may be balls to the walls but I have hit it out of the park as far as the people in my life are concerned. My best friend and my parents are throwing me a birthday party this Saturday night. I get to know when it is, but that's it, so it's kind of a surprise party, which is kind of fun. Friends are coming up from WV and who knows where else, just for my birthday. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I may not have it all together but I'm definitely surrounded by the best people while I try to figure it all out.

My friend Kari is unable to make it because she's running the Disney Half Marathon this weekend (No Big Deal) so she asked me to come in to her work on Tuesday. Kari's work isn't just any old thang, she works for The View, and this past Tuesday the one and only Kathy Griffin was the guest. I mean, come on. I want to BE her when I grow up! So my mom and I went in and the following is a true account of our supercalafragelisticexpyaladotious morning.

7:14 AM: Train to NYC.
8:18 AM: Taxi to ABC Studios
8:31 AM: Mom and I befriend a man who was either homeless or an employee for ABC. We may never know.
8:55 AM: We head inside, VIP style.
9:43 AM: Kari comes and collects us from the line, saving us from having to stand near the most obnoxious man in the history of Obnoxia.
9:47 AM: Kari tells me to be cool because we're walking past the dressing rooms.
10:08 AM: Peta Murgatroyd from Dancing with the Stars pops into the green room to grab an apple. Because I follow her on all of the social media, I think we're besties and immediately smile very large and say hi. She leaves. No because I say hi, just because she has sh*t to do. She actually said hi back very nicely before skedaddling. I turned to Kari and ask if that was ok. She says yes. I then get very excited because if Peta is here, that means Brant Dougherty is here, which means that two of the most attractive people on the face of the planet are within yelling distance of myself. I do not yell.
10:45 AM: Kari proclaims it's the to head up to the studio.
10:46 AM: As we are waiting for the elevator Kari says that she was hopeful that Kathy would arrive early so that I could meet her, but no luck. Or luck? The elevator dings and there is the fabulous Ms. Griffin with her entourage who STILL has time to say hi to us. She may have just been being nice, because I'm pretty sure my jaw was on the floor. She's seriously one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. You  know I love a ginger.
10:47 AM: Kari asks why I didn't tell her that I loved her, I tell Kari I was trying to "be cool."
10:49 AM: We get some amazing seats. Seriously, we might as well have been sitting with Sherri, Jenny, Barbara and Brad. (Whoopi was out so Brad Garrett was stepping in as co-host. He's a funny bastard).
11:00 AM: The show begins and it's an awesome amazing capital time. (Yes I'm aware that is redundant but it's true.) At some point the hype guy / comedian asks me if I have a question for Kathy, which I'm dumbfounded at because I'm in love with her. So I'm the blubbering idiot who's all "Ummm, errrr... does she need an assistant? Does Tiffany?" He gives me the look that means "I'm not asking her that." so I ask if she'll sign my book and he said he would try.
12:00 PM: The show ends and Kari comes back to pick us up. I felt like a preschooler but a really cool preschooler.
12:04 PM: We hit the elevator. We get out of the elevator. There is Kathy again. We're destined to meet like this, two ships passing in the sea. I tell her I love you. She says thank you. Kari tells her I'm her biggest fan, but alas it was not meant to be as Kath had to get to David Letterman & the elevator doors close. (Yeah, I call her Kath now, we're that close).
12:07 PM: We're back up stairs on the magical floor with the dressing rooms & the green room. I run to the bathroom I see Brant, I see Brad, I see Peta, I see Barbara. I mean basically we're like a pretty small gang now.
12:10 PM: Kari returns with my book, signed by the divine Ms. Griffin. Yes, to me, she is divine.

12:11 PM: Birthday week on it's way to being one of the best ever!
12:14 PM: As we leave I hear Barbara Walters asking if anyone knows where her car is. "Wherw is my caw?"
12:16 PM: We get to the elevator to find Brant & Peta waiting patiently. Kari tells them she's bummed they got kicked off. They say they are too. Then I say "I might have cried." and Brant looks right in my eyeballs, directly into my soul & says "I might have cried too." (side note: we might be pregnant). We carried on our chat about how it's to that point in the season where it's no longer talent that keeps people on the show and how disappointing that is.
12:18 PM: Barbra Walters shows up, rockin' a totally amazing coat.
12:20 PM: We ride the elevator with Brant, Peta and Barbra and I try to "be cool" by asking Kari about Bridget's profile picture. Lame party of 1.
12:22 PM: We say goodbye to Kari and thank her for an incredible morning.
12:30 PM: I call my boyfriend Bob and don't take a breath for about 5 minutes while I tell him about my morning. He asks me a work related question. We say goodbye.
1:00 PM: Mom and I get lunch then head back home on the train.

I mean, this is an awesome way to start your birthday week. At least I think so. End scene.

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