Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Dating Dating Everwhere, but not a drop to drink.

I have been on A LOT of bad/awkward first dates.


But last night takes the cake.

It started fine. Chit chat. Conversation. All that good stuff that you have to weigh through the first time you meet anyone.

Then it just got strange. She kept "busting my balls" about shit but when I would give it back she kept saying "you're so mean!"

Here's a little note, on a first date, don't call someone mean 1,000 times. It doesn't make for a good start.

We moved the conversation onto tattoos. I was telling her about the next one that I want to get but how I'm not sure where I want to get it. She was giving me all these options and one of them was my upper arm. I said "naa sleeves aren't for me & I don't like my upper arms so I wouldn't want to draw any more attention to them." and she goes "why don't you like your upper arms? You can work out & fix that." to which I replied. "We all have our insecurities."  When I was really thinking "Gee thanks for walking me through that, because I've tried & have you heard of Kenny Chesney?" Rude.

Then finally we got down to it. She asks me who I'm more attracted to men or woman. I said it's kind of a toss up. Because it is. There are some men that I find more attractive than some woman & vice versa. And at this point, I'm finding Joe Schmoe with 300 extra pounds and a drool across the bar more attractive than you. Then she flat out says "I have issues with bisexual girls." Really? do tell. She goes on to tell me how ALL the bisexual girls she's dated have tried to get her to bring men back to the bed room. When I informed her that she just dated crappy girls bc in a year and half I never would have thought to ask my lesbian gf if we can bring a dude back home! Then she got defensive & all "I'm just telling you about my experience!"

Well let me tell you about my experience tonight. I've been called mean, numerous times. I've had my sexuality attacked. I've been told I should define myself differently because you think "pansexual" is a better than bisexual. And best of all was when I was told that all bisexual woman will choose to end up with a man because it's the "easy way out". I should have shaken her hand and said good night right then. Oh and to my lesbian friends, apparently you all feel this way. At least that was what I was told last night. That you ALL dislike and distrust bisexuals. Just a heads up on the new rumor starting about you, besides all the other fun ones.

Listen. Listen. I don't have time for this bullshit. I'm going to end up with whoever makes me happy. Whoever makes me laugh. Whoever doesn't make me cry when we get home from our first date. I just met you, how dare you judge me and make assumptions about the kind of person I am?

I'll tell you who I wont be ending up with. You.

And no, I wont respond to your text saying "I hope you had at least some fun last night. hehe." bc if I do it will say "Yes between having my sexuality questioned by a stranger & being called mean I did have an iota of fun. It just happened to be when I was singing karaoke a good 15 feet away from you though.hehe."

If I don't have to defend myself to my family & friends, why would I ever even feel remotely moved to defend myself to you.

And no I don't think we can be friends. I'm only friends with open minded folk. So f*** off.

1 comment: