Well I have several problems. The most probing being that I still try to booze like I'm 21. And most of the time I succeed, but I never succeed so much that I don't get sick. Gross.
This past Saturday was Morristown's St. Patrick's Day Celebration and it was definitely a shit show on my end. Holy mother of corned beef sandwiches.
I was probably completely loaded by approximately 2 PM. Which is impressive considering I started drinking at about 10:30 AM. The day itself is a complete blur of crazy times except for a few details.
I ran into a guy I know from my dad's golf club and my number ended up in his phone some how. So there's that.
There was something to do with a corned beef sandwich that fell and then I was extremely concerned with someone slipping on it. Apparently corned beef = banana peel? Who knew? But because I was so concerned with getting this out of the way I met this group of guys and proceeded to slap one of them. Well he knocked the corned beef sandwich back on the floor and that's dangerous! So apparently smacking him was the best option. Geeze Louise!
But we ended up hanging out with them all night. It turned out the one friend knew my friend Sarah so we became a little crew...
And guess what? They were all married. Leave it to me to hang out with a bunch of married dudes all day! They were super fun & for the first few hours everything was kosher but then as they got drunker 2 of them got handsier and handsier. It was out of control. Finally after the one tried to edge his hand up my leg and the other won awards for the amount of butt grabbing and neck nuzzling we decided to call it a night.
There was almost a tearful moment with Leslie on the phone in a bathroom stall where I went something like this "Why? Why are they doing this? They're so fun & they're making me lose faith in all men! Why can't we just hang out, why do they have to hit on us?" But luckily Leslie couldn't talk so I had to lock it up.
But why is it that I can completely act like myself and be a total catch in front of unavailable people? If I know you're available? I shrink up and become the Queen of Awkwardia! Ugh. Worst.
And what's even more sad and yet amazing? The one guy who I found the most attractive out of all of them? The one guy who was a total gentleman. Never inappropriate, but super nice and made sure that me and my friends were comfortable the whole night. Got us water. Let me steal his french fries. Nicest guy. And a true man & husband. Where ever you are Sir, huzzah!
I also JUST remembered that I ran into my CKO instructor on Saturday so that will be kind of hilarious at class tonight. AWESOME! I need to lock it up.
This past Saturday was Morristown's St. Patrick's Day Celebration and it was definitely a shit show on my end. Holy mother of corned beef sandwiches.
I was probably completely loaded by approximately 2 PM. Which is impressive considering I started drinking at about 10:30 AM. The day itself is a complete blur of crazy times except for a few details.
I ran into a guy I know from my dad's golf club and my number ended up in his phone some how. So there's that.
There was something to do with a corned beef sandwich that fell and then I was extremely concerned with someone slipping on it. Apparently corned beef = banana peel? Who knew? But because I was so concerned with getting this out of the way I met this group of guys and proceeded to slap one of them. Well he knocked the corned beef sandwich back on the floor and that's dangerous! So apparently smacking him was the best option. Geeze Louise!
But we ended up hanging out with them all night. It turned out the one friend knew my friend Sarah so we became a little crew...
And guess what? They were all married. Leave it to me to hang out with a bunch of married dudes all day! They were super fun & for the first few hours everything was kosher but then as they got drunker 2 of them got handsier and handsier. It was out of control. Finally after the one tried to edge his hand up my leg and the other won awards for the amount of butt grabbing and neck nuzzling we decided to call it a night.
There was almost a tearful moment with Leslie on the phone in a bathroom stall where I went something like this "Why? Why are they doing this? They're so fun & they're making me lose faith in all men! Why can't we just hang out, why do they have to hit on us?" But luckily Leslie couldn't talk so I had to lock it up.
But why is it that I can completely act like myself and be a total catch in front of unavailable people? If I know you're available? I shrink up and become the Queen of Awkwardia! Ugh. Worst.
And what's even more sad and yet amazing? The one guy who I found the most attractive out of all of them? The one guy who was a total gentleman. Never inappropriate, but super nice and made sure that me and my friends were comfortable the whole night. Got us water. Let me steal his french fries. Nicest guy. And a true man & husband. Where ever you are Sir, huzzah!
I also JUST remembered that I ran into my CKO instructor on Saturday so that will be kind of hilarious at class tonight. AWESOME! I need to lock it up.
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