Monday, June 13, 2011

Blood. Sweat. Beers.

Are you a warrior???

That's a question I had the answer to at about 2:59 PM on Saturday. And that answer was "well no, I wouldn't consider myself particuarly tough at all, I actually might vom right here, if you wouldn't mind."

But at 3:00 PM fire shot from the pilars and I was off in a mass of people to become a warrior, whether I liked it or not.

I started the Warrior Dash going a little to strong & almost wore myself out before the first task even came up. I don't really know what exactly I was thinking but it was something like this "oh the tasks will be a nice little break."

Am I a moron or what???

TASK 1: To crawl underneath black tarps for about 15 - 20 feet. Easy peasy right? But no... there are roots & rocks & sh*t & you can't see them. Plus, at first, you're much more concerned with dodging any feet that may wack your face. Seems more important right? But it wasn't bc you need your knees to run the rest of the race, you're nose... not so much.

TASK 2: oh hey, here's a bunch of really wobbly 2 X 4s for you to crawl up, then crawl down, then shimmy across a 1 X 3 (or something ridiculous) & do it all over again. I literally said "Mother F***ER!!!!" good thing there were not children. Here's the problem with this one, I hate heights. And even though it was only like maybe 8 to 10 feet high, I was balancing on something my ass didn't fit on. Anyway, I made it through. Huzzah!!!

TASK 3: I hate to have to say this but I had to skip half of this task. There were plywood walls that wobbled around and they were probably about only 4 feet high. But here's the thing, I'm only 5'2" so getting over them can pose a bit of an issue. I tried like three times but couldn't quite get it up there & I didn't have any teammates to help me out. So I skipped the walls (there were 3 or 4 of them) but would pop back in between and go under the posts. I didn't want to be a complete loser mcdose.

TASK 4: I felt like Atreu & I was saying goodbye to my horse. Or my sneakers bc this mud meant business. I saw many a people loose their footing & shoes... I made it through. Pat me on the back.

TASK 5: Rope maze type thingy. They were elastic and you kind of manuevered through them. I felt like a spy it was kind of cool.

TASK 6: Oh hey lake, let me wade through you up to my waist. Oh yeah I'm just dunking all the way under bc that's how I role.

TASK 7: ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME!!??!!??!!?? that wall is about 20 feet high & I'm supposed to pull myself up it using that wee rope. NO THANK YOU!!! Saving that task for next year.

TASK 8: Tunnels, sporadic tunnels, short tunnels. And guess where this kid fell down for the first and only time... in the tunnel.

TASK 9: Rope wall up, rope wall down. When I got to the top I took a safety break cause my knees were shaking (I'm just not a fan of heights.) and had a little convo with the volunteer sitting up there. "So, how's your day?" "Whatcha up to?" Why did I come up here again" & "has anyone ever fallen IN the fire?"

TASK 10: Sh*t ton of tires & 9 busted out glassy jagged cares to climb over & more tires. Really??? REALLY??? And van with sun roof... I hate your life.

TASK 11: Jump through fire. You know... as you do.

TASK 12: The last task. Here it is. The piece de la resistance (uh?) A pool of muddy rocks so thick that you float in it. Yes I swam / crawled myself through this pool, right under the barbed wire... what is up. bad ass bitch coming through. I wont mention that both my hair & shirt got caught at 2 different points, cause it's irrevalant to my greatness.

SECRET 13th TASK: The f***ing FREEZING water you used to rinse yourself off. Seriously this was the worst task for me... it was so cold you couldn't catch your breath in it. It was horrible.

It was ridiculous on so many levels of fun. One of the funniest things was how frustrate I would get when I would slip on the mud when for all intents & purposes I shouldn't have but bc my soles were so packed with mud I had no traction. So I would slide when it wasn't even that muddy. My time wasn't to bad


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