A Little Freestyle Writing for your Reading Pleasure

Becauses, Buts, Maybes and What Ifs                                

I can’t lie. I thought, hoped, that last minute you would change your mind. Like the Prince Charming of my day dreams, I thought you’d come for me. I hoped. But you didn’t and even though it’s been a very long time, I’m left with this empty feeling.

What I pretended we had is nothing compared to what we could have had.

There are only a few things that I regret in this life and one of them is how I treated you. Because if I had behaved differently maybe we could still be friends now. But that’s not true either.

Because you have her and you don’t need a me. But you like to pretend that you do.

Whenever I see you, you act like we’re 16 again and things are as they were.

You’re my friend who steals my camera and takes goofy photos.

You’re not the guy who wears purple ties to match her shoes.

You’re not that guy.

But then again, I don’t know you anymore either.

Just like you don’t know how different I am now.

I don’t know me now.

Because I thought I was a woman who wouldn’t hurt like this over something made trivial by time. Something that was bound to happen eventually.

But what if you knew me now, would I know me now?

Would you see something different or would you see what you couldn’t back then.

Because I think that if you knew me now, if you had taken the time before taking this leap things would be very different.

But I know that’s not true.

I know we’re not meant to be anything anymore.

But maybe some day, when our kids are grown, they’ll meet. And all the feelings that I imagined existed somewhere in outer space can actually be put to use.

Maybe that is our destiny.