Tuesday, May 24, 2011

10 Basic Truths in my Life Right Now:

1. Working out. Though I've come to this conclusion in the past & have kept it up for a few months, it seemed that when obstacles presented themselves (ie: moving. vaca. etc.) I stop. Not this time playas, cause now I'm a runner. eeeeeee!

2. I will take any paying job that comes my way. This Saturday I'll be in the city to seeing Daniel Radcliffe in How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying and my friend James needed someone to stand in Time Square and sell tickets to shows. Yeah. That's right. Someone to be "that guy" who intercepts your mission to get a hotdog (or see the Empire State Building or hit up 30 Rock) and says "Hey, you planning on seeing a show tonight?" Yeah, that's happening. Should be fun / interesting / exhausting. I've also offered myself for shifts for the caterer of the Country Club but I'm not putting to much stock in that because I would bet he would rather work with the servers from his restaurant, I guess only time will tell on that one. Moral of this story - I'm an embarrassment to myself right now. On that note... anyone know of any part time side jobs?

3. Even more embarrassing, I depend wholly on my parents. I had to ask my dad for money to help with my student loans this month & before I did, I cried about it. I feel like such a failure. And knowing that I'm not doesn't make that feeling go away. Why is it that living under their roof and eating their food doesn't depress me as much as having to verbally ask for moola. I guess it's a "this is your life take it as it is" type of situation. It doesn't help that I got a letter about the position in Maine that I applied for. I pretty much knew that I didn't get it, but they felt the need to write me a letter to let me know for sure. Without so much as a phone interview, that's what gets me.

4. I will always miss people. I've lived in 5 states and 2 countries. There's always someone, somewhere that I will wish I was with. And there is always somewhere that I wish I was. Right now it's Scotland, tomorrow West Virginia, oops there's of missing Maine.

5. I will always, always escape into fantasy. I'll never forget, after one of my favorite professors read my Senior piece she said "Janice this is why you're single, love doesn't happen like it does on TV." And I've definitely outgrown that a bit, the idea that it hits you and you're smitten and it's fantabulous. But I will always enjoy a good book, a good movie or a good television show. I'll never stop wanting to re-read the Harry Potter series or pick up my favorite Susan Elizabeth Philips (Ain't She Sweet or This Heart of Mine - it's a toss up) to skim through my favorite juicy parts. In this same token I will always daydream (or night coast as I like to call the bit before I fall asleep) about meeting my dream man - celebrity or not - and how he'll realize I'm perfect & we're meant to be. That is why I write. That is why I have to write. I have so many amazing tales to tell... I just need to get them on paper. Or in our case, on blog.

6. I will always like nice things but I will be able to live without them. I could probably make over $1,000 selling my Coaches on ebay. Problem is, my mom wont let me cause she thinks that one day I will retire them and they will be her's. What she doesn't understand is the only way I will let them go is if I'm getting moneys back for them. I have 8 of them. In my defense they're all from a time when I had cash flow.

7. My life plan is blown to shi*t & it's time to re-evaluate.

8. Country music makes me happy and makes me feel better about the ridiculousness that is me right now. Any why wouldn't it when it's merged so seamlessly with theatre...

9. I'll always be hungry for something that is not good for me. Boneless Buffalo Wings from The Bee, a hamburger from anywhere, Mom's homemade Mac N Cheese, Doritos, disco fries, taylor ham, egg & cheese, whatever. I'll always love junk food & I'll never be able to eat it freely.

10. I will always be just a little bit to sensitive. But not in the way you think. Let me try and explain in a way that doesn't make me seem insane. I didn't like to hold my girlfriends hand in public, not because I was worried about how it would look or what people would think, I was worried that someone would say something ignorant and it would make me cry. I can't bear to watch people be cruel and hurtful to no purpose except to be cruel and hurtful. It breaks my heart. And that's probably why, as much as I want to volunteer for The Trevor Project or the Human Rights Campaign I can't bring myself to fill out the form. Here, in this particular movement, my skin just isn't thick enough to withstand the ignorance. Knowing the hate that's being spewed out there makes me cry at least once a week. I'm too sensitive for other peoples pain. How's that for Pathetic?

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