Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What Do You Say to Taking Chances?

Woooo it's another Wednesday of Witty Advice for you to Take or Leave. Or something kind of like that.

One of my girlfriends is having a coy flirtation with a guy at the gym. At first he would stop by the class that she takes to talk to a female coworker but then he started taking the class. Which according to my friend is aimed more at the female populations because it stresses cardio and the weights they use are not very heavy.

So eventually they started chatting a wee bit, you know the normal stuff. "How's your day?" "Here's your weights." "I want your body." Ok the last thing may be subtext.

There was even a time when she missed class and opted to elliptical instead and he went out of his way to say hi to her.

But here's the conundrum... he's not making any other moves & my friend definitely likes to be pursued.

Here's what I have to say to that.

Get over it.

I know Greg Berandt tells us "If he's not asking you out, he's just not that into you." So what. I love that book but if we lived our lives by it, some of us would never have dates. Now I'm not saying their aren't guys out there who will ask you out, but they have in the past and they've been duds.

Like you said, sometimes you can be intimidating. You're a flippin' corporate lawyer at one of the biggest firms in your state!!! So I think you need to bite the bullet on this one and take a chance. So what, he says no (which I really don't think he will) move past it and live your life. It's definitely his loss.

Now the other obstacle you had was that you are a sweaty gross mess after class. I feel ya sister. I showered before I went to clean the golf club last night cause I was so nasty, then had to show again cause that vacuum weighs about 35 lbs!

Anyway, my advice would be to catch him before class when you're still looking kind of fresh and fabulous. Try to talk about how work has been kind of stressful lately and you could really use a relaxing night with a glass of wine. See if he bites. He may not, men can be slow. (Sorry boys but it's the truth)

Give it a day or two. Then say "Hey, you know what. I think this Friday I'm going to pop out and get some drinks but my friends are all away. Would you maybe want to come?" This way if he says no you can make him think you're still going out. Whether or not you actually do go alone, you show your independence. And maybe his already busy, but you set him up to know that you'd like to do something outside of class. If he doesn't bite again, then I fear he may just not be into you.

I just hear you now, that fear of rejection is kicking in saying "oooo I could never do all that." But here's what I have to say to that.

Yes you can. It's just a state of mind. From a girl who could get her PhD in being a wingman, I promise you, you can do this. You have a gorgeous body & a gorgeous face. You're sexy. You're strong. And I promise that boys don't only like for your body... inside joke. Sorry friends.

From the back story that you've given me I think that he is definitely intrigued by you if not interested and would absolutely say yes to hanging out away from the gym. You could also see if he wants to do something active with you. Google search for Saturday classes and ask him if he would want to take one with you. That idea may be better than my first. hmmmm, I'm on a roll.

But anyway I know you're fearing the awkwardness if he does say no. But don't worry about that, he'll probably avoid the class before you do. After all it was yours first and men hate awkward tension more than woman do because they don't really know what it is that's bothering them. Men are silly.

I hope this helps. But you have to promise me one thing... when you do go out with him you wont pick him apart!!!! I love you muchly but you can sometimes pick one little thing about someone & then you write them off... be open minded about your future lover pleases!!! That is, unless he tells you about how he lives in his mother's basement, collects unicorn figurines and is an avid under water basket weaver. In which case I fully support your decisions to go to the bathroom and never come back.

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