Sunday, May 1, 2011

I'm a Big Girl Now

So, even though my brother gave me his flight vouchers I had to swallow a harsh reality... I can't go to New Mexico. Even with the vouchers I would still have to pay at least $250 and that's too much money for someone who can't even really afford to get drinks with her girlfriends right now.

NM is calling me and this song continues to bring tears to my eyes. I want to give the west a chance, see how it grows on me. See how it makes me grow. Traveling is my crack, new places are my heroine and road trips are my grass. I'm not into any drugs, so traveling is my poison. Travel Channel when will you find me & hire me???

Anyway, I'm being a big girl & saying "time to stop spoiling yourself, Janice." Because I have to many bills to pay & no job opportunities in sight for this summer (besides cleaning dad's golf club. hey, it's another $100 bucks in my pocket). I'll have to make my own adventures right here in NJ.

When does it become this way? This balancing act between doing what you love and doing what you gotta do. Why can't I put one thing into another, without moneys?

I guess for now I have to play with the cards I've been dealt. Make some cash money, see where my life is & decide where to go from there. That's exciting. Now on the other hand, this song always grounds me.

"Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else, maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down.
If you ever want to find me, I can still be found, taking the long way... taking the long way around."

I know what I want eventually in life, but for now I'm taking the long (big girl) way around.

So who wants to buy me a drink?

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