Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Will I Ever See Me?

If I could wish one thing for the young girls in my life, it would be that they see themselves as they are, not as the projection on the wall.

I hope that when they look in the mirror they don't see who they've been told they are, who they've grown up thinking they are, but who they really are.

Does that make sense?

I've talked before about how no matter how thin I get, no matter how much self confidence I scrounge up, a part of me will always, always be that 13 year old girl who got called fat on a daily basis.

It has grown into a part of who I am & I'm happy for it. I wouldn't be so darn witty if I hadn't grown up cracking jokes in my defense or at my expense. Isn't that the story of most comedians?

We live, unfortunately in a world where it's ok to judge someone because of their weight, their nose, their height, their stringy hair, their... whatever. When did we become a society that made that ok? It goes back to the basics...

"Let he without sin cast the first stone." Except in this case, it's not sin, it's faults. We're teaching our kids that it's ok to throw each others minor "faults" in each other's faces. Sometimes they aren't even faults.

Yes, I was an overweight kid, (don't know if you guys knew that about me?) but why does that have to be a fault? Looking back I did miss some of the high school experience of boyfriends & cheerleading & parties. But you know what I did get because I wasn't preoccupied with that stuff, a personality***. A firmer grip on who I am and who I want to be. And considering that most college grads don't even have that figured out, I wouldn't trade having that at 18 for anything.

Well maybe for Donald Trumps fortune, I like to travel.

Anyway, as happy as I am now - as 10 pounds lighter as I am now - a part of me will always see a chubbet in the mirror.

So I pray that the little munchkins in my life, (your moms are hopefully the ones reading this & not you because that would be weird... why are you on facebook?) that you see yourself. Really see & feel who you are, don't listen cause they're just spitting faults. And just because your gorgeous doesn't mean you should trample on or let other people get trampled on. Speak up, I promise you will love that you did it. (maybe not right now, but 10 years from now absolutely!)

Anyway, I'm done preaching. And I've finally did something that I never did in high school... ran a mile on the track. Who'da thunk that would be what makes me happiest at 27.

I'm  not saying that kids who had those things in high school didn't and/or don't have personalities. I'm just saying mine may have developed a little bit sooner than others. Some of you are still working on not being assholes, I know, I 've run into at the bar...

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